I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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