I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I lost the right to judge tonight
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
