The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
