She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
