so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
