I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
