I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
