i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
