I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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