either way he was missing a nipple.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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