Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
