im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
