so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
