toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we're making bets on your personal life
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
