She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
