is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize