I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
