Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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