she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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