i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
