Got a toothbrush?
thus making me awesome and them whores
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
