Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
