Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
