he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I believe in your delicious
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
