he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
its liver damage thursday
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
