last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
