K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
