We're facebook friends in real life
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
