Sry I called you an 8
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
