I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
