road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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