so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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