i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
smell my finger.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize