Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Randomize
