We won't sleep together?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
