my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ketchup is God's man juice
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
