Me. At least after what I've been through.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
