she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
