i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
