I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I need moral support for this bender
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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