Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I love having hate sex.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
