Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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