You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
