i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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