A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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