just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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