Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
