Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
