Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
