There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
actually, I'm a sock model
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
