Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
40s are totally the cure
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
