I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
