this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i need some magic done to my vagina
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
