I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize