his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
