so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
