Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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