I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
