I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
