Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
