Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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