New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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