at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
