I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
