Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
